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Battling with anxiety.

Hi assalamualaikum, For the past 3 years since 2015 I've been diagnose with anxiety/panic disorder. Is it a disorder or a mental sickness? I know not all are brave enough to share this to anyone or in my case to the world. I cant really remember when was the 1st time I experienced the anxiety. But I sure hell remember how does it  feel. It felt like the world around me shrinking, my heart pounding hard macam baru lepas berlari 100 meter. My hand sejuk and numb. Rasa macam nak muntah ,nak teberak semua sekali. Since it was the 1st time, masa tu I don't even know whats goin on with my body. Cant control and felt like I'm going to die. Its the worse feeling ever. Once I cant breathe when I'm inside the car. Me myself don't understand what my body is trying to tell me. Dalam kepala Ya Allah aku dah kena sakit kronik maybe. Mulalah panic fikir about my kids. Whose going to take care of them if I'm gone. Am I a good muslim ? Did I do what Allah want me to do? The
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Diversity in my life.

Hi assalamualaikum. ! It was a busy week last week .Chinese New Year celebration with the family in Ranau. We went there on Friday and I drove the car all the way from KK to Ranau...yes (path shoulder/flip hair). Well actually its not my 1st time driving to ranau but this is the 1st time that I drove with my kids and husband as a passenger. And its a bit foggy during that time. Alhamdulillah we reached ranau. Ive received a few of message from my messenger asking me why are my family celebrate cny? I don't blame for people who never live in Sabah before. So I patiently explaining to them why ..some of them even asked me if we eat pork during that time...Astagfirullahalzim LOL. Thru this family reunion I can see love has no boundaries. Beat it if you are a muslim or non muslim. We respect each others believes and never gets into our conversation. I bless to have a multiracial family and I'm glad that my kids was born and raised in this environment. From my mom side my own

Gratitude in everyday life.

Assalamualaikum and hi to all. School holiday bermula sudah hari ni. Kena tepat 14hb feb 2018 bersamaan dengan Valentines Day. Why do we have to wait for valentines day to arrive than only we share our love, our gratitude? Lets start by sharing gratitude everyday. Shall we? I know kadangkala hidup ni tidak seperti yang kita rancang atau impikan. Kadang kita terlampau fokus pada apa yang kita kurang kita lupa pada apa yang kita ada. Kita lupa setiap hari kita berpeluang menghembus nafas bangun seperti biasa. Kita lupa kita dapat melihat dunia dan melihat orang tersayang kita. Lupa betapa beruntungnya kita di bumi Allah.Subhanallah. Gratitude atau dalam Bahasa melayu syukur (betulkan saya jika salah).Untuk kita rasa gembira setiap hari rasa syukur itu harus bagi saya wajib ada dalam jiwa kita. Melihat kelebihan orang lain boleh menimbulkan perasaan dengki dan iri. Jika rasa syukur itu ada tertanam dalam diri kita insyallah perasaan iri dapat di hilangkan. Well kita hanya manusia, sy

Refleksi diri.

Assalamualaikum 2018. Where shall I start?? 2018 sudah last update this blog is 2016. A lot been happening in my life and Alhamdulillah all is good. Alhamdulillah juga sebab rezeki yang Allah bagi. A big step for me dalam tempoh 2 tahun ni. Ada orang stay in my life ada juga manusia yang ku buang 100% dari kehidupan ku. Betul la quote mengatakan ada orang yg datang dalam hidup kita untuk memberi pengajaran dan juga di takdirkan untuk singgah sebentar. Namun ku bersyukur kepada Allah setiap kejadian yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Mula-mula agak sakit dan pahit bila reality hidup dalam hubungan persahabatan itu tidak berjalan seperti yang di impikan. Keikhlasan bersahabat itu tidak dihargai dan pengorbanan kita tidak di nilai. Susah senang kita menjaga silatulrahim tidak memberi aku kebahagian. Mungkin juga dia terlampau baik untuk ku jadikan sahabat dunia akhirat. Mungkin juga aku tidak layak untuk menjadi jirannya di syurga nanti.(insyallah) Aku redha dan pasrah atas semua ketentuan

2016 and counting

2016. .yes 3 years since i last updated my blog..a lot been goin on with my life and our life as a family. And alhamdulillah  everything went well…My baby Raisya start her kindergarden school this year..Rania my eldest had her UPSR this ..and my amoi well she still being my amoi manja. I still am a stay at home mom, taking care my 3 kids on my own without a maid or living maid.Now i did a small business craft selling Namidori. Life pretty much the same. I guess Allah had His way and know the best for us kan. Insyallah gonna update more on this blog. This our latest picture.

C kuali kecil

aaaah nampak gambar kuali kecik tu..teringin la plak mau cr..pas masak trus letak atas meja ngappp trus..tak ya mau salin d pinggan bagai...tapikan nanti laki aku n anak2 cakap mami ni uda buang tebiat kali tau...adeh..tp akan aku cari gak kuali shomel ni...if dioramg tak mau pakai biar aku pakai sorang..ko hado?

Bunga Pom Pom

The other day bangun pagi ja datang semangat 'Martha Stewart' masuk dlm badan..i dont know u guys but as for me selalu experience feeling ni...Tetiba rajin nak deco uma bagai. So konon2 first step nak buat rumah ala2 country home teringin lah uma wangi n berseri. di jadikan cerita c kak ton ni angkut la c baby ton to a nearest mini mart beli bunga...sampai ja waaah semangat nengok bunga berbagai-bagai..but to tell u guys flower is not cheapppp Noooo...its expensive aaaaaahhh.. Dipendekkan cerita c kak ton pun beli la bunga Pom pom..cantik ja warna purple gitu one of my fav color .Nasib tiada color turqoise if ada kak ton beli juga tau.So c kak ton pun senang la hati umpama dapat loteri 1 juta dlm bank. Lepas beli bunga c kak ton drive la p amik anak2 kak ton ni ...masuk ja anak sulung kak ton nampak buka suka la sangat umpana tak pernah nampak bunga bagai...dia p la hidu2 bunga pom pom tu wangi la sangat katanyer.. Dalam masa beberapa minit anak c kak ton bersin la bertalu-talu